Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, the whole goddamn family was drunk as a louse, with mom in the whore house and dad in jail, I sat myself down to a cold glass of ale.
When out on the lawn, I heard such a clatter, I got off my sister to see what was the matter. And what to my stoned-out eyes should appear, but a shitty old sleigh and eight fucking reindeer.
With a dirty old man who was beating his dick, I knew at that moment, it must be St. Nick. He flew across the lawn and up the house wall, he cried onward you bastards or it's off with your balls.
He came down the chimney yelling like hell, He’d just caught his balls on an old rusty nail. He filled all the stockings with drugs and beer, and a big rubber dick for my brother who's queer.
And up again he went with a fart, that son of a bitch blew my chimney apart. And I heard him say as he flew out of sight, "Fuck all you critters, it's been a hell of a night."
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
ReplyDeletethe whole goddamn family was drunk as a louse,
with mom in the whore house and dad in jail,
I sat myself down to a cold glass of ale.
When out on the lawn, I heard such a clatter,
I got off my sister to see what was the matter.
And what to my stoned-out eyes should appear,
but a shitty old sleigh and eight fucking reindeer.
With a dirty old man who was beating his dick,
I knew at that moment, it must be St. Nick.
He flew across the lawn and up the house wall,
he cried onward you bastards or it's off with your balls.
He came down the chimney yelling like hell,
He’d just caught his balls on an old rusty nail.
He filled all the stockings with drugs and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother who's queer.
And up again he went with a fart,
that son of a bitch blew my chimney apart.
And I heard him say as he flew out of sight,
"Fuck all you critters, it's been a hell of a night."