Let me introduce all of you to Uncle Ted. He's a real piece of shit. He's the guy that got fired from his job cleaning spark plugs at a lawn mower repair shop. He shits in a bucket and pisses out of his front door. Uncle Ted is that guys that informs kids about jacking off. "Just tug on it." He can also be used in reference to shitty people: "Did you see that asshole kicking those boxes in the Walmart parking lot? Man, he was a real Uncle Ted." or " Did you see that Uncle Ted filling his pockets up at the Shoney's buffet?". Uncle Ted sits on his porch and flicks off the children walking to school. Uncle Ted wants to use your mouth as a pussy. Uncle Ted doesn't give a fuck. Uncle Ted is Jerimiah's alter ego. Meet Uncle Ted.